Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
