Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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