My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
smell my finger.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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