I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
