I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
