We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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