I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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