i just wanna soil my oats bro
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
