Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
