she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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