somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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