whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
