hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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