I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
