Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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