Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
