I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I want a musical about memes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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