Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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