I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
