Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
