Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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