Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
