Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
