So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
