I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
