PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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