Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
