is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
