i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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