that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
