What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
