jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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