just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
