For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
