She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
last night I used snow as a chaser
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
