I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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