i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
