I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
