I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
