thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dicks are not precious.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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