I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
