I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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