I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
