my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
