I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
