i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
