know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
