I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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