I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
should my penis look like a turkey
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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