I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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