I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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